Knowing You

As we sat in the humblest corner of the glorious staffroom which again sat under the grandeur of the legacy of a great college, I felt comfortable in your presence. Yes, there were too many machines around us, and too many wires, and mosquitoes too – this being the corner which is barely used. Yes, they didn’t allow us tea or coffee inside, for it is too unholy for a beverage to breathe in the sanctity of technology, but could they stop us? I am really comfortable, almost joyous, to have had that fascinating interaction with you.

Now as I sit alone here, the same boxes strewn around, printers around gathering dust, and mosquitoes unable to bite me through my socks – on which you so attentively complimented – I am thinking of you. What did that interaction do to me -- perhaps momentary delight, but a lifetime of enrichment. The craftsmanship of everything falling apart around us was in itself very comforting too, was it not? We did not have to live up to sitting one leg over the other, or wear our hair a particular type. I even believe you heard the music going around, which of course was never playing.

I do not know why I was summoned to the Principal’s office. I didn’t hear him. The faint melody of your presence had filled me up. He may have said something that the other staff did not approve of our increasing interactions. But, I am back, the same smile, like a stream, upstoppable. I am going to go back to our conversations, and know your habits and speak of my leisurely activities. I wish to dissolve in that harmony of voices and music and comfort within a seemingly under-civilized place. Clearly, you like it too, in the way you return each time our eyes meet. The beats pitch faster and higher. The lights do not matter, nor does the dust.

It was so hilarious when I went out and asked them over my tea what disturbed them. They were taken aback. And you, slyly, hid too. They informed me that I was having an expressive conversation with myself and replying at the same time, as if two people resided within me. They did not whether to laugh or be afraid. I did not know too – whether to believe, or disbelieve them. There you were, in your distinct style, subtle and smart, never for once echoing my opinions. There you were, as calm as restless I was. There you were, but true, now no more.

Here I am – recalling each of your replies, which others claimed haven’t heard; writing of a place they all swear they know. Then how is it that you are not seen by them? Or, the music does not reach them? How is it that an otherworldliness never gets approved? Anyway, I decided to erase the allegations and continue. Back to the humble corner, after seeking you outside, here we will speak once more.

Wait, who is that writing on the laptop? She looks like you, but I know it is me. You turn away from the monitor, the light of the words sit on your face, you smile, I know.

We both know.