2/05/2016

I Can Make a Desk Talk!

Yes, you read it right! I can. And who am I? Let's begin from the beginning, since the year is new and a month old. I am a Blacksheep and I like to Know Nonsense. I am a survivor and I wear my scratches on my car, and the scars on my soul as if they were the shiniest of diamonds. I am upwards thirty and many things at once, so many things that Jack would fail in all his trades! 

For a long time, I believed I was the life that Sylvia Plath did not live. For a brief period I also felt that puns are such fun that I am a reborn version of Sukumar Ray. Then I looked for myself. And I crashed. Boom!

I took to anxiety like a child takes to a pillow. I was defeated miserable number of times when I tried to get up and collect shards of my soul to reform that great enemy called Confidence. In the dire process, I became even more dependent on my confidantes. It has been such a ride, my life! And one day, when a higher authority thrashed me for sticking a quote I stuck on the CPU of my work-station, which read "Happiness is a Habit", I decided I have had enough. It wasn't about faith, ever. All along it remains a choice.

I am sleepy right now, very sleepy indeed. And I am off alcohol because I want my curves back. I have given my heart out to do every little thing I am doing with the best of my ability. Yet, I cannot push away this urge to write. It finds me, like a lost friend, a side-pillow, a favourite sock, an old diary. 

To my delight, I now decide to declare I have changed. I could get up with the collected shards of Confidence, and even though it wears a crack, it feels like a crown. So, how can I make a desk talk? No, I am not a carpenter today, I am still the story-teller, who is narrating to you the story of the narrator. Over this new year, I have interacted with a varied audience in the form of lectures, talks, discussions and workshops which have, in effect, helped me learn, and mainly, unlearn few things about living life. I look forward to a tomorrow where I believe I can be the crazy, creative, communicator who can in the easiest way, reach out to all those who need a push, a pat or a pun to function. In that tomorrow, I am in a quirky, classy lab, sharing time with people and characters. They tell theirs, I listen, I tell them mine, they listen. 

The audience consisted of Group-D staff on day, Science undergrads the other, and Humanities on the rest. While the private help I am offering to my cousin, he is a workoholic, core-production based person. I see it. Do you? They all listen. They did. Some have generously informed me that they were touched too. My crown was glittering with a strange satisfaction.

I am still the Blacksheep who wants to Know Nonsense, and unlike Lewis Caroll, the mathematician, I lack precision. But when he asked, "Why is a Raven like a Writing Desk?", I bet he knew that desks could speak too! Isn't that simple? Years later, I am here to make the Desk Talk!

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