You Too?

You asked me to fly,
To work,
Harder,
And then you asked me to
Rest,
See a doctor,
Seeing me in a different way,
As if I were two.

You asked me to fly,
To lands, seas,
To return,
Stay.
And then you added,
I was fat
Because I was sad,
And vice-versa.

Where did my prose go,
You asked.
You tried to find me
In such verse.
I was worse, you said.
And you asked,
What was I afraid of.

I am afraid of everything,
And everyone.
The short days, the long nights,
The cold water,
Hot with electricity.
Of death,
Mine, others',
Inevitable, I know.
Of sweetened coffee,
And desperate inks.

I cannot fly,
I cannot answer you.
I shut myself down
To find if you were correct
Am I two?