Beginnings:

I love my isolation, my solitariness, my holdback atti…and im labeled a social outcast. So? Can’t I nurture my narcissist angle of leading life? Me and my tanhai, my akelapan, my awaarapan…man there’s so much of a world in myself, why do I necessarily need to live a life outside it? Follow customs I disregard, do things im expected to and not coz I like to, carry on with my mask of happy go lucky?

I hate noise. I cherish the sound of silence that we often forget to interpret. Im not a romantic. Im a minimalist. I love the color of money. I love what money can buy. It buys comfort; comfort automatically pulls in peace of mind (for those who would have argued on it). Relationships? Goddamn it. Apart from the circle club ones, who cares? What matters? It’s all in our self-interest.

Marriage? It showed me how weak I am and how strong I can become. What big claims I used to make on I hate my parents, my dad to be precise. And how im now putting up with the super inferiority complex of wearing shakha pola loha etc. How am I expected to manage a sonsar when most of my time passes in the management of a chunari-chunari?

Maiden hood had its own bloody charm. The follow through of smoke, the bitterness of a biting black coffee, the control over a remote, the audacity of making own routines. Of getting up crow early to catch mtv and vh1 classic, of sleeping early to get up early next morn…of self made weird food timings, of having people who encouraged my not liking fish. Small things do make huge and large differences.

And what am I doing right now? My hubby is cooking on a Sunday, my mom in law is helping him, my dad in law is a sweetheart, and my sis in law is a blessing. Im complaining, cribbing. Something must be wrong with me. God help me if there be one…

Can’t be anyone else other than a vain, ignorant, conceited bitch like me: kents.
Can’t bring myself to say kuntala chakraborty, its painfully long. Can’t call my parents in law ma n baba etc. All im doing is living in a world of positive cannot-s and will not-s.
This piece of words just goes to show how unlike my parents im. What we inherit is not always what is inherent. I have inculcated this out of proportion let go attitude and though im sometimes worried about it, most of the times it helps me attain divinity. Catch you later, kuntala sengupta. now in a stylised manner: kuntala sengupta chakraborty