For the past two days I have been going through my mail box. Reliving applications, rejections, love letters, documents, life, condensed in couple of email ids. Once and for all, I could quantify change. Having said that, I found "marriage" to be an essential element, and would today like to opine a bit formally on it:
When I was growing up, marriage, rather, a wedding ceremony was the singular most significant occasion for the families concerned and the society at large. It would entail an event of pomp and show, its entirety firmly tied to prestige, and the rituals deeply steeped in patriarchal traditions. Marriages still hold a very important place in the Indian society and reflect the high regard people have for communion and family, the association of happiness and contributing their bit to the “Big Fat Indian Wedding” scenario.
If we trace the social history of marriage, it was an institution built by men in order to sustain property within a familial legacy. Eventually, it reduced the freedom of a woman, regulating her to the marriage contract and making her the protector and nurturer for the children and the husband. The man, however, did not have any such necessary ties which would hold him down and limit his freedom of building connections with the outer world. The picture is gradually changing and helping women come out of the cocoon of the family and embrace the larger world.
However, with the advent of individual choice, personal ambition and the gripping modernist angst, I think this is the social ideal which will fade into obscurity the earliest. While more emphasis is being laid on fulfilling personal goals, the youth has started to consider marriage as a feudal institution that turns into an existential burden after the few years of initial excitement, as it has stopped being a license to parenthood, sexual independence and money.
In modern and developed societies across the globe, it is becoming increasingly evident that people are commitment phobic. The view and writing is not of a purpose to be critical of changing social dynamics but rather, present an objective commentary. And perceiving the scenario impartially, it can be imagined for the future that marriages will not be holding as much importance in the social scene and might be seen as backward and prudish in the face of progress. Marriage as companionship might be absolutely acceptable to a lot of people and a pleasurable partnership of choice.
If not completely dissolved, marriage ties need to become more fluid, the rites and rituals need to be redefined so that they are less dogmatic, chauvinist and regressive in nature. Finding any other way of living or building a relationship should be more acceptable and not be crushed under the hegemonic ties of marriage. As Chinua Achebe has also written in the short story Marriage is a Private Affair, it should become a personal and private affair, and not be limited to a social institution.
Pardon my content and tone today, dear readers. I am, as you must have concluded, perfectly capable of qualifying change as well!
When I was growing up, marriage, rather, a wedding ceremony was the singular most significant occasion for the families concerned and the society at large. It would entail an event of pomp and show, its entirety firmly tied to prestige, and the rituals deeply steeped in patriarchal traditions. Marriages still hold a very important place in the Indian society and reflect the high regard people have for communion and family, the association of happiness and contributing their bit to the “Big Fat Indian Wedding” scenario.
If we trace the social history of marriage, it was an institution built by men in order to sustain property within a familial legacy. Eventually, it reduced the freedom of a woman, regulating her to the marriage contract and making her the protector and nurturer for the children and the husband. The man, however, did not have any such necessary ties which would hold him down and limit his freedom of building connections with the outer world. The picture is gradually changing and helping women come out of the cocoon of the family and embrace the larger world.
However, with the advent of individual choice, personal ambition and the gripping modernist angst, I think this is the social ideal which will fade into obscurity the earliest. While more emphasis is being laid on fulfilling personal goals, the youth has started to consider marriage as a feudal institution that turns into an existential burden after the few years of initial excitement, as it has stopped being a license to parenthood, sexual independence and money.
In modern and developed societies across the globe, it is becoming increasingly evident that people are commitment phobic. The view and writing is not of a purpose to be critical of changing social dynamics but rather, present an objective commentary. And perceiving the scenario impartially, it can be imagined for the future that marriages will not be holding as much importance in the social scene and might be seen as backward and prudish in the face of progress. Marriage as companionship might be absolutely acceptable to a lot of people and a pleasurable partnership of choice.
If not completely dissolved, marriage ties need to become more fluid, the rites and rituals need to be redefined so that they are less dogmatic, chauvinist and regressive in nature. Finding any other way of living or building a relationship should be more acceptable and not be crushed under the hegemonic ties of marriage. As Chinua Achebe has also written in the short story Marriage is a Private Affair, it should become a personal and private affair, and not be limited to a social institution.
Pardon my content and tone today, dear readers. I am, as you must have concluded, perfectly capable of qualifying change as well!
1 comment:
Marriage as an institution has already crumbled in the developed world. And the same trend is visible in India. Women across all sections of society are demanding true partnership and are no longer willing to accept unequal relationship or violence or topdown humiliation. It will be interesting to see how things shape up in the coming decades.
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