Dearest,
As if one desperate letter wasn't enough (https://blacksheep-knownonsense.blogspot.in/2014/09/letter-to.html), I wrote you another (https://blacksheep-knownonsense.blogspot.in/2015/04/letter-to-ii.html). I am shamelessly aware that you audaciously read them both, but even more, that you royally ignored their intensity. Like me, their entity must have favorably vaporized?
This is yet another addition, and frankly, sometimes the entirety of you becomes rather overwhelming. I don't know if you made me or I made me. Or who made who. I am unavailable for you, yet I can never finish what we began. Your very memories are like favourite stories. But, they are my stories. If you ever have a shadow whispering curses into your ears, feebly first and fiercely next, know, that the monster is me. Wishing to kiss you, but knowing better to curse.
Do I scare you? I wish I had you around so that I could say, "don't be darling!" I wish I had told you once, like in songs, lovers do, "don't go away, come back, stay..." Are you impressed that I did nothing of the sort, behaving as if I had let gone, as if it meant nothing? Was my being cold sexy enough?
Well, I woke up one today, and decided that you are no longer alive.
A commitment to self was never to make you a 'perhaps'.
Who made who?
K.
As if one desperate letter wasn't enough (https://blacksheep-knownonsense.blogspot.in/2014/09/letter-to.html), I wrote you another (https://blacksheep-knownonsense.blogspot.in/2015/04/letter-to-ii.html). I am shamelessly aware that you audaciously read them both, but even more, that you royally ignored their intensity. Like me, their entity must have favorably vaporized?
This is yet another addition, and frankly, sometimes the entirety of you becomes rather overwhelming. I don't know if you made me or I made me. Or who made who. I am unavailable for you, yet I can never finish what we began. Your very memories are like favourite stories. But, they are my stories. If you ever have a shadow whispering curses into your ears, feebly first and fiercely next, know, that the monster is me. Wishing to kiss you, but knowing better to curse.
Do I scare you? I wish I had you around so that I could say, "don't be darling!" I wish I had told you once, like in songs, lovers do, "don't go away, come back, stay..." Are you impressed that I did nothing of the sort, behaving as if I had let gone, as if it meant nothing? Was my being cold sexy enough?
Well, I woke up one today, and decided that you are no longer alive.
A commitment to self was never to make you a 'perhaps'.
Who made who?
K.
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